Update

The blog is still under construction because we are still under construction!

Our lives, our home, our marriage, our worship, all are so much different since this time last year. It's actually difficult to put it in writing.

Through everything the Lord is showing us, it is still our desire to share what we learn (even what we learn the hard way) and bless other marriages, families, moms and dads.

Stay tuned.................

Welcome!!

Thank you for visiting our new blog. Please take a moment to leave a comment and let us know you came by.

The blog is definitely under construction right now and we plan to spruce it up over the next weeks and months, as it unfolds and becomes what the Lord desires it to be.

Do I Know You?

There we were in a conflict, my wife and I. We were in a heated discussion regarding something I said she “always did” and I was highlighting her inability to receive correction from me in areas where she needed sharpening. I repeatedly stressed my points to her she repeatedly stressed her points to me. Mean eyes and looks were traded. Gestures of frustration, thoughtLESS and regretFULL words were spoken.

Toward the end of our conversation, in a tireless effort to share her heart, she made a statement that halted my previous thoughts and actions and directed me toward the Spirit. She said, “your statement about me “always” doing this and “never” doing that, is changing the way that you look at me.” When I heard those words, for some reason something indignant rose up in me and I thought - what she’s saying is not right. .... it cannot be true..... there is another way of viewing my present circumstance, the present conflict in my marriage. I thought to myself, ‘when the enemy comes in like a flood, the Lord will lift up a standard against him’. A standard of the Lord rose up within me at that moment.

My entire countenance changed. I looked at my wife differently from that point on. I said to her, “I KNOW it is not true that this issue is changing the way I see you, because I KNOW you.” You say, what could that possibly mean? I thought about it for a minute. She looked at me, wondering what was going on and why my suddenly changed from hulk-like to heavenly. The change in my spirit was so apparent.

I said, “No, sweetheart. I KNOW the things that we have talked about were pretty intense and serious at the time that we said it, but the truth of the matter is -- that doesn't matter any more, because I truly KNOW who you are. Those things that we were arguing about are not our truth. They are simply things that we see. They are not things that we KNOW.”

The word that came to me regarding my role as a husband is “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to KNOWledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” I Peter 3:7

We cannot go from day to day, week to week, month to month, and year to year in our marriages, allowing the things we go through and things that our mates do to alter the way we look at them. In the end that will lead to destruction. Of course there are actions that are taken that have to be addressed and sometimes escalated to higher authority figures in the body of Christ, but in general we must constantly go back to the basics of what a godly relationship is built upon and the principles of His word, and ask ourselves – What do I KNOW about my mate? My partner for life? I KNOW that God’s spirit is in her and I KNOW that she is not my enemy and that deep down inside underneath the flesh that sometimes comes to the forefront, she is behind me 100%. There is no other person who can provide what she provides for me because I KNOW God called her to be my wife!

I recalled that God’s word reads “Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the KNOWledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord.” II Peter 1:2 In the same way that we KNOW and trust Him, we can trust what we KNOW of our mates, through Him. In the same way that God loves us based on who we are in Him and not based on what we do, we must love our spouses with that same unconditional love. If we don’t what does that make us?

The principle is the same in non-marriage issues, as well. When we look at circumstances where there is no more money in the bank, or it looks like the cancer will win, or it looks like we won't have anything to eat tonight. We KNOW that these are things that we see. And when we operate based on what we see our perception is clouded. We make unfair and inaccurate judgments about the person or the situation. What we have to do is move beyond what we see and focus on what we KNOW.

What we see and what we KNOW are two entirely different things. What we see is constantly changing. What we KNOW is what anchors us in.

Try it, the next time such an opportunity presents itself to you and allow the Lord to minister to you through your obedience. For some, the opportunity is now, because there is something holding you back from opening up with your husband or wife. Allow Him in your heart today. It's His love that changes us!!!

Make a U Turn

Take time in your day or your week to make a U Turn.

What is a U Turn? A U Turn is a moment that you take to remove the focus from yourself and focus completely on what you can do to bless your husband or wife. I find that this is especially important when going through conflict (both during and especially after).

Take some time and make a list, mentally or written, of all the things you think he or she needs, may be going through, the perspectives from which he or she could have seen a given situation, ways in which he or she could have taken what you said and been either hurt, disappointed, disrespected or confused. Then commit yourself to ministering to your spouse in this area and let them know you hear their needs and concerns!!!

There is a principle that I learned from a concept at work: We have a daily meeting (most days) where each team member is allowed to give a report of where they are and what the need to accomplish. At this meeting a rule is enforced where no one is allowed to interrupt and no comments are made during the meeting itself. Following the meeting, each person (or "responsible" party) is entrusted to go the the person whose issue needs resolution.

Think of ways you may be able to implement this type of of approach or a similar one, regularly, in your marriage. Say to your mate, "I want to focus on U not me right now." Make a U Turn. I am going to write down or meditate on all the ways I can bless U according to what U need and the way God made U. And I am going to trust God, as you do the same. I am going to listen to your needs and be the "responsible" party, and follow through in serving you and meeting your needs.

Galatians 5: 13, 14"For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasionto the flesh, but by love [agape] serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love [agapao] thy neighbour as thyself."

Philippians 4:8, Galatians 5:14, John 13:34,35, Galatians 6:1,2, Ephesians 4:31, 32,Ephesians 4:1,2, Colossians 1:1-4, 9-11; I Corinthians 14: 1-5; I Corinthians 16:20 -->